CNN Hires 90’s Prop Comic Carrot Top As Coronavirus Escalates

ATLANTA, GA—Our hospitals are war zones, but nothing puts anxious Americans at ease more than a little prop comedy. As CNN continues its steady stream of pandemic coverage, a new analysist will join the roster at the esteemed news outlet. Scott Thompson, known professionally as Carrot Top, will be joining the ranks helping anxious Americans through the national news with a little levity.

Asked of his qualifications Carrot Top responded, “If anyone is a mask expert it would be me. I have hundreds of them.”