Ohio Governor Advises Eating With A Mask On

COLUMBUS, OH—Accompanied by a detailed chart, Ohio Governor Mike Dewine asserted Thursday the importance of keeping masks on while dining out. “This a slow, slow process” he reiterated. “We don’t want to roll back all the work we have done.”

The plan includes a controversial technique of dragging the eating utensil across the cheek until it slips under the mask to insert into the mouth.

“Again, we are looking to save lives” he added. “Thousands more could die if we go back to normal too carelessly.”

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